We get to love you

I had every intention of posting several months ago about my skin care routine {I’ve found some fantastic products lately that don’t break your budget..} but right about the time I was going to be writing our my content for that post, something else happened.

We found out we are expecting a Baby Alley!

Needless to say, there were too many thoughts + emotions going through my head to remember “Oh hey, about that blog post on skin care routines…”  My free time quickly became overcome with worry {is the baby ok in there?}, with excitement {let’s look at baby names! And baby items!}, and with the feeling of being a bit overwhelmed. It was a time I got to spend with my husband keeping this little secret about this sweet little miracle we have created.

Now, because I like talking so much about my experiences with life so much, I thought I would share some of my “first trimester tips” with you {because hallelujah i’ve made it to trimester 2!} So here we go:

First trimester experiences {from an extremely unexperienced pregnant lady}

  • You don’t always have to get morning sickness. And thank you sweet lord for that. That was actually one of the first fears I had upon finding out I was pregnant. People make it out to seem like every woman will be drastically ill throughout the first trimester {and don’t get me wrong, some of you will!} Luckily, I did not have this problem. I didn’t get sick a single time {I had a few small waves of nausea here and there albeit nothing unmanageable} A tip I learned from my sister was if you start to feel sick, even if you’re not hungry at all, eat a snack! It will help you stop feeling nauseous. Luckily, if you do have morning sickness, it should start to subside around good ole trimester 2.
  • You’ll be tired, OH SO VERY TIRED. I never realized how exhausted I would be. I work 6-3, so it’s rare you’ll find me up past 8:30 or 9pm anyway, but now it’s hard to find me awake past 7pm! I won’t be feeling overly exhausted and them WHAM, I’ve fallen asleep with my phone on my face and I don’t even realize it until an hour later. This is something I don’t think others fully understand if they haven’t experienced pregnancy before, because lately I’ve gotten the feeling some of our friends have thought I’m being lazy or something. .Let me tell you, mommas, I understand. This symptom has hit me and hit me with a vengeance. Our bodies are working in overdrive to provide support not only to us, but to our sweet littles. Now supposedly we’re in luck, this is supposed to start subsiding and we’re supposed to get a “burst of energy” in trimester two, but I haven’t gotten there yet. I’m only a week in to trimester two, and I’m still just as tired as I was before.
  • Stay OFF of the mommy forums and mommy boards on the internet. This is something I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to do until I started and ended up getting TERRIFIED of everything. But once I had started googling all of my questions, I couldn’t stop, so my advice? Don’t even start. If you go looking for a board on advice if there’s a problem, you will inevitably find someone who had a problem. Usually people who do are hooked to those boards, so stay off of them or you will worry yourself sick. I know I did. I wouldn’t even allow myself to think of names or nursery ideas or anything until after my 12 week appointment with my doctor because those boards freaked me out so much. If there are no signs that there is a problem, I’m sure your baby is completely fine in there. Let your body do what it was created by God to do. If you can’t help it and do end up getting worried, I saw a recommendation from a doctor that said if you’re really worried in trimester 1 and you can’t get in to see the doctor until 12 weeks {which is normal}, then take one pregnancy test per week. If something were going wrong, likely your HcG levels would drop and it would be reflected on a pregnancy test. I did this a couple of times to calm my nerves, and by george, it helped.
  • Don’t let people “preggo shame” you. If I am asked one more time why I’m drinking a cup of coffee when I’m pregnant, I may actually throw hot coffee at someone {okay, an exaggeration, but you get what I’m saying.} I know how much coffee / caffeine I’m allotted in a day {and trust me I use it wisely}. You’re going to get asked about epidurals, about chromosomal disorder testing, about breastfeeding, about staying at home, about co-sleeping, about your exercise routine…everything. It’s like being pregnant is an open invitation for everyone to voice their opinions. At first, this severely bothered me, but now I realize that people are just trying to help. Their opinions are most likely what they were taught is the best for their babies, and they are wanting to share that advice with you, so let them, and then choose to use what you wish. It’s also a time where you and your spouse will start forming a new bond, and you’ll have to become a team. Charles and I have recently had a discussion about not discussing important decisions in front of family or friends, because these are decisions we need to make in private as a new parental unit. All you have to do when someone asks you something you haven’t discussed yet and may have different opinions about is say “we haven’t discussed that yet, and we will discuss it later in private.” There are big decisions that come with being a parent. My husband and I were raised similarly yet completely different, so it will take time for us to blend our backgrounds to parent the best way possible, but those discussions are personal, and you don’t need family or friends in the background trying to sway your decisions one way or the other.
  • Keep dating your spouse. One of the reasons Charles and I didn’t start talking about children immediately after we were married is because we wanted to get to know each other in our knew roles as husband and wife. One of my greatest fears is that we will start making everything about our child and stop putting our marriage first, which, I know may be an unpopular opinion, but your marriage should always come first. Charles and I have “mini date nights” where we fill out the baby book together, talk about baby names, do projects around the house, order in food and binge watch our favorite shows, etc. They say husbands can often feel left out of the pregnancy process if you don’t make them feel involved, so I’ve been trying to keep that in mind and letting Charles contribute whenever he can. He was the husband that was there to help make every decision with our wedding, and he wanted to be there, and he’s been there wanting to be a part of every decision with Baby A as well. I cannot wait to see him in his new role as “father.”

Here’s a few pictures from the talented N.M. Franklin Photography of our baby announcement!

“We get to love you” 

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